That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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