Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
be right there i have to get my cape
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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