i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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