i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I came so hard my ears popped.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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