Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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