these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
