Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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