I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
