Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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