GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
