maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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