I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm like, not good at living.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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