she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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