the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
