Someone shit on the floor
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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