Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
