awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm both gender and math confused
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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