Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
