i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
