Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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