if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
