He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
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I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
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I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
me + whiskey = a bad person
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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