Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
