i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
