Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
