You can't motorboat a personality
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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