wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
