i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
where does the pee come out of this thing
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
