his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
