worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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