just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The beers last night were like the tears from god
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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