Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
