Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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