3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
