I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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