im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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