In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
