I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
