How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
FUCK WHALES
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
