i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
