Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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