But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I have aggressive nipples.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
