Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just cropdusted the office
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize