Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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