whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
