Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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