While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
