It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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