If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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