I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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