ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
