Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
