the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
