So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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