Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
