OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
