I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
