It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
This toilet bowl is my home.
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