Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
