maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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