probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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