so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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