Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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