Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
