Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
