what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
