it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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